rose garden filled with thorns
by halcyon epochs
Summary: — big mistakes lead to big regrets :: petunia and realizing the value of what she's lost


Petunia clutches the bouquet of flowers to her chest, her lips pursed and her eyes fixated on the dead grass underfoot. It's Halloween, and she can hear the distant shouts of joy from children who are trick-or-treating. She remembers when she used to be among them, gleeful and bright-eyed…

Oh, how the times have changed.

A gust of wind howls through the graveyard and she flinches as it rattles her bones, causing the boughs of trees to sway and crack ominously. She digs her feet in and withstands the gale, holding the flowers even more tightly to her chest.

She's old, frail, she shouldn't even be out, and yet here she is, full to the brim with fettered regrets almost as ancient.

As soon as the wind dies, she's off again, tottering unsteadily toward her destination. She's determined to make amends, and nothing can stop her.

At last she arrives, a little worse for wear and her flowers bedraggled, but she's _there._

She stands in front of a joint tombstone, engraved with the names of her sister and brother-in-law, and memories unbidden come crashing down on her, memories of jealousy and anger, and finally, regret.

 _It's her fault,_ Petunia thinks, tears welling up in her eyes. _It's her fault she's dead, not mine._

But somehow, she can't convince herself to believe that.

* * *

 _It was inevitable. Resentment had been building up for years, brewing within her like lava. It was all_ Lily this, Lily that, perfect Lily's perfect boyfriend, _and frankly, Petunia was sick of it. Sick of all the attention Lily was and had been receiving, merely because she was magical. Because she was_ better _than Petunia._

 _It all culminated when Vernon invited Lily and her boyfriend, James, to dinner at a high-priced restaurant in central London. This supposedly generous invitation was meant to flaunt Vernon's wealth and up the ante between them and the "it" couple._

 _Petunia dressed well for the occasion, wearing her best dress and finest jewelry, all of which Vernon had (lovingly) purchased for her as engagement presents._

" _Oh, look at you two," Rose Evans gushed as the two sisters stepped out of their rooms, all dolled up, and Petunia received her first look at what attire Lily had chosen to don that evening. As much as she loathed to admit it, her sister looked stunning in the emerald and gold ensemble she was clad in._

" _You look pretty, Tuney," Lily complimented, smiling shyly._

 _For a moment, Petunia teetered on the edge, debating whether or not she should return the sentiment — the small part of her that belonged to their sisterhood — but ultimately decided not to and instead replied with a stiff and slightly hostile "Thank you."_

 _Hurt briefly crossed her sister's face, but before she could retort, the doorbell chimed._

* * *

" _So, Potter," began Vernon importantly, "what car do you drive?"_

 _James swapped a glance with Lily. "I don't drive," he said loudly, which earned him two identical scoffs._

" _Oh right, I forgot, you're one of_ those kind," _Vernon said cynically, his fork clattering against his plate. "You're one of those freaks."_

" _Pardon?" James queried, exchanging another uneasy look with his girlfriend._

" _You know, the kind who do hocus-pocus and that kind of nonsense. You're one of them."_

 _Recognition dawns on James's face. "Oh, you mean a wiz— ?"_

 _Petunia opened her mouth to prevent him from saying_ that word _, but Lily beat her to it, silencing her boyfriend with an elbow to his side. James shut his mouth, shot Lily a slightly confused look, but didn't object. Dinner continued, utensils clinking against plates and a palpable tension hanging in the air._

" _So, where is it that you went to school? Hogwash, is it?" Vernon probed, his beady eyes studying James intently._

" _Hogwarts," James corrected politely — of course, Lily's boyfriend would be nothing short of polite. "Just graduated, actually."_

" _Hmph. So you're employed, then?"_

" _Not really," James admitted._

" _Unemployed, then?" Condescension is dripping from her fiance's voice and Petunia couldn't help but throw a haughty glance at her sister. Lily returned her stare, her eyes defiant._

 _James hesitated. "I, er, have some gold saved up in Gringotts — the wizarding bank, sorry. My parents were both pretty well-off, and my dad founded a business before he died, and funds keep accumulating in there —"_

 _Vernon harrumphed with displeasure, his face rapidly purpling. "So, you think you're better than me? Just because your_ parents _were wealthy, just because you have a load of gold stored up in some crackpot bank? How dare you insult me at my own table!"_

" _I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound patronizing —" James looked terribly befuddled at the sudden escalation of Vernon's temper._

" _I'll have you know," Vernon continued, ignoring James's frantic apologies, "that I am a respectable, educated man, Junior Executive of my company, a man up for promotion — a man who will be making plenty more money than you! You're nothing but a — a —"_

 _Vernon's stomach heaved as he struggled to breathe and simultaneously searching for an accurate enough insult. When he could think of none, he settled on,_ "Freak," _and abruptly pushed back his chair, threw down his napkin, and stormed out of the restaurant._

 _Dead silence followed as James gaped, Lily's face reddened, and Petunia tried to register the last few minutes._

" _Tuney, I—"_

 _Something just exploded inside of Petunia and she rounded on her sister and her demonic boyfriend, a maelstrom of anger and betrayal raging in her mind._

" _This is all your fault, Lily!" she screamed, unleashing her full wrath as years of bitterness and being overshadowed spilled over. "Why do you always have to go and ruin things? Why can't you have normal friends?"_

" _Tuney — "_

" _Petunia, she —"_

" _Have a nice life, Lily," she cut them both off, seething. She ignored the heart-wrenching sight of her sister's eyes welling up and weakly called Vernon's name._

 _She didn't look back._

* * *

If she had turned back, things might have been different. Had she gone and made amends with her sister, she might've convinced her to choose the other way of life.

 _It's not your fault,_ she reminds herself. _She chose to become a witch in spite of me not wanting her to._

That's where their paths had unofficially parted. That was the beginning of the end of their rapidly deteriorating relationship.

Petunia can still recall, to this day, a vivid picture of Lily's brokenhearted face, and it haunts her every day. If things had been the slightest bit different...

Back then, she would've given anything to not have her sister's life intermingle with her own, to have some semblance of normalcy. That's why she had married Vernon, because he was _ordinary,_ and he had promised her that her sister's poisonous life wouldn't taint hers.

But now, she would give up her life just to see her again.

 _I'll see you in heaven, Lily,_ she thinks as she sets the flowers at the base of the headstone.

* * *

 **Written for QLFC Round 10 [Tornadoes, Chaser 3]**

 **(main) Write about a fight within the family (such as over marriage, finance, property, etc.)**

 **(word) objection**

 **(setting) graveyard**

 **(word) poisonous**

 **Thanks to everyone who betaed!**

…

 **Also written for:**

 **Hogwarts Assignment 5, Charms Task 9 - Write about someone hotheaded.**

 **Seasonal Challenges -** **Do Something Nice Day: Write about someone doing something nice and it not turning out well.; autumn: windy; Dessert: Lily Evans**

 **1166 words**


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